Have you ever found yourself getting bored listening to a client? Do you just power through it, or do you tell them? I hope you do the latter. That boredom isn't random. It's an indicator, within the sensitive instrument of your feelings, that something is lacking in the relationship between you. They need to know they've lost you, or failed to engage your interest. They're probably bored listening to themselves! Until you interrupt them, there's little chance they'll find a way to go deeper or get realer.
If Obi Wan had been training you, he would have implored you to "trust your feelings". What happens for you during a session is almost always relevant. Your confusion, or frustration, or hopefulness, is part of your client's process. That's also true of the biases you find yourself speaking from, and the roles you find yourself taking on. Erasing yourself from the session is not possible, and even if it was, it isn't desirable. It is in the relational field between you, in the present moment, that you find the way forward together.
A counseling session can be thought of as a series of interventions, each altering the process your client would otherwise habitually progress through. Interventions are a creative art form. Weak interventions will have weak effects. The best interventions are discovered in collaboration with your client, specific to them, and progressive, each building on the last.
Unfortunately, a brief session once per week, separated from the context of the client's life, tends to provide insufficiently strong interventions. More potent interventions happen when your client immerses themselves in a community, has an extended, high-intensity experience, or makes actual changes to the structure of their daily lives. At a minimum, you want your clients to be doing "homework" between sessions. Even better, find ways to help provide them meaningful adventures outside of your session.
Most people begin their counseling careers by learning a specific therapeutic method. That method is what you default to when you don't know what to do. When you learn new systems, you'll tend to interpret them in terms of the systems you already know best. For better or worse, any given approach will only be helpful with certain clients, or for helping with certain complaints. When something's not working, you want to be agile. The quicker you can pivot, and try something different, the more likely you are to meet the unique needs of your unique client.
Every modality in psychotherapy was invented by someone. You are just as qualified as they were to investigate human nature. You are just as capable of discovering how real change happens. And you need to. Because we're not that good at this stuff yet. The answers aren't out there. You need to experiment and innovate to find out what works.
Ultimately, theory and technique will only get you so far. You being you is what makes the biggest difference - not how well you're able to apply a theory. Magic happens in counseling when you drop all your theories and honestly confront the mystery of human existence along with your client.
We'll discuss the mechanics of counseling relationships together, and how to effectively facilitate change for your clients. When you really get stuck, however, it usually means you've got some of your own work to do. Your clients' challenges will inevitably bring you face-to-face with your own. That's how it should be, and it's the real reason why counseling supervision is so valuable.